It’s the dreaded four-word phrase? “Can we be friends?” It’s a classic break-up line, but it’s also an issue that must be faced when a relationship hits the rocks. In reality, the questions ought to be “should we be friends?” And, if so, “how will we define that relationship?” Below are some points to ponder when facing the partnership to friendship dilemma. »
You had been counselling your client Renee for approximately two years and in that time had developed a very strong counselling relationship. Renee was a highly motivated client who worked very hard to overcome the challenges in her life. Renee had missed a session during the week and you were quite concerned because this was out of character for her as she had always notified you in the past if she was unable to keep her appointment. »
Accept your sadness and be kind to yourself. Do not put undue pressure on yourself. Take time off from work if necessary. During this mourning period, learn to accept that this person was put in your path for you both to learn and grow and remember the good things and value them. Buy books or attend workshops that support the idea of letting go and feeling good about yourself. Seek grief counselling if that feels right. Formalise a farewell to end the relationship. When someone dies we have formal funerals but when a loved one leaves we have no such comforting ritual. If you can, let go of things that remind you of what is no more. Letting go of the material goods helps to let go of the memory. Don’t be tempted to keep souvenirs and pore over them – it will only make the memory... »
Every effort should be made to reconnect with and re-establish loving your partner, however, if the choice is to end the relationship, efforts should be made to end it amicably. Both individuals are then able to take the gained experiences and learn from them. There are ways of making the break up easier: »
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