Humour Why Laughter Matters in Tough Times

Introduction

When life feels overwhelming, people often turn to humour. A joke in a difficult moment, a shared laugh after a stressful day, or even making light of our own struggles—these are familiar human responses. While humour might seem trivial on the surface, it can play a powerful role in how we cope with challenges.

Most people have experienced this instinctively. Think about the moment when tension breaks because someone makes a light comment, or when laughter unexpectedly appears in the middle of a difficult conversation. These moments are not accidental. They reflect something deeply human: our capacity to use humour to manage emotional intensity, create connection, and regain a sense of perspective.

In counselling and psychotherapy, humour is already present in many conversations. Therapists and clients laugh together, use lightness to ease tension, or find moments of levity in heavy topics. Yet, despite how common it is, humour is often treated as something extra—more about personality or rapport than something meaningful in its own right.

Emerging research suggests otherwise. Humour is not just about making things feel lighter—it can actually help people think differently, feel differently, and connect more deeply (Dionigi et al., 2023; Sarink et al., 2023). In this sense, humour is not a distraction from serious work—it can be part of the work itself.

This article explores humour as a coping strategy and a therapeutic process. It considers how humour helps people navigate difficulty, how it shows up in therapy, and why paying closer attention to humour may benefit both practitioners and the broader community.

How Humour Helps Us Cope

Humour can change how we experience difficult situations. One of its key strengths is its ability to shift perspective.

When something stressful happens, it is easy to become locked into a particular way of thinking—often one that emphasises threat, loss, or overwhelm. Humour interrupts this pattern. By introducing an unexpected or playful angle, it allows us to step back and see the situation differently. This process is closely related to what psychologists call cognitive reappraisal, a strategy that involves reinterpreting a situation to alter its emotional impact (Samson & Gross, 2014).

What makes humour distinctive is that this shift often happens quickly and with less effort than more deliberate cognitive strategies. A humorous observation can instantly reframe a situation, reducing its intensity without requiring lengthy analysis. For example, someone stuck in traffic might shift from frustration to amusement by joking about the absurdity of the situation. While the external circumstances have not changed, their emotional experience has.

Humour also plays an important role in emotional regulation. It does not remove distress, but it can soften it. Moments of laughter can interrupt cycles of rumination or anxiety, providing brief relief and creating space for recovery. Research suggests that humour can reduce negative emotional states and increase positive affect, even if only temporarily (Cropley & Cropley, 2014).

These small shifts matter. When distress is slightly reduced, people are often better able to think clearly, problem-solve, and engage with others. In this way, humour can support resilience—not by eliminating difficulty, but by making it more manageable.

Importantly, humour is not only an internal process. It is often relational. Shared laughter can strengthen bonds, increase feelings of belonging, and reduce interpersonal tension. In challenging times, this social aspect of humour can be particularly powerful. Feeling connected to others is one of the strongest protective factors for mental health, and humour can help facilitate that connection.

Everyday Humour: Small Moments, Big Impact

While humour is often discussed in the context of therapy or research, its most consistent impact occurs in everyday life.

People use humour in countless small ways: joking with colleagues during a stressful workday, laughing with family members about shared challenges, or even using self-directed humour to cope with personal setbacks. These moments may seem minor, but they accumulate over time, shaping how individuals experience stress and adversity.

Consider a parent navigating a chaotic morning routine. Turning a stressful moment into a playful interaction with a child may not solve the underlying pressures, but it can transform the emotional tone of the experience. Similarly, friends sharing humour about a difficult life transition—such as a breakup or job loss—may find that laughter creates space for both honesty and relief.

These examples highlight an important point: humour does not deny reality. Instead, it offers a different way of engaging with it. It allows individuals to acknowledge difficulty while also creating moments of lightness within it.

This dual capacity—to hold both seriousness and playfulness—is part of what makes humour such a powerful coping tool.

Humour in Therapy: More Than Just “Being Friendly”

In therapeutic settings, humour is often associated with rapport-building. When used well, it can help clients feel more comfortable, understood, and at ease. A well-timed moment of humour can signal warmth, authenticity, and relational safety (Cronin, 2023).

However, humour can do more than support the therapeutic relationship—it can actively contribute to therapeutic change.

For example, humour can help clients step back from rigid or unhelpful patterns of thinking. A gentle, playful reframe may allow a client to see the limitations of a belief without feeling criticised. In this way, humour can support insight while maintaining emotional safety.

Humour can also make difficult topics more approachable. Clients who feel overwhelmed by certain experiences may find that humour provides a way in—a softer entry point into challenging material. This does not mean avoiding seriousness, but rather approaching it in a way that feels more manageable.

In addition, humour can reduce emotional intensity during sessions. When conversations become highly charged, a brief moment of levity can help regulate the emotional climate, allowing both client and therapist to continue the work more effectively.

These functions align with key processes across many therapeutic approaches. In cognitive behavioural therapy, for example, humour can support the examination and restructuring of unhelpful thoughts. In acceptance-based therapies, it can encourage a more flexible and less fused relationship with internal experiences. In narrative approaches, humour can help clients re-author their stories in ways that are less dominated by distress.

Seen in this way, humour is not separate from therapy—it is woven into it.

Not All Humour Is Helpful

Despite its benefits, humour is not universally helpful. The type of humour used—and the context in which it is used—matters greatly.

Research has identified different humour styles, some of which are associated with positive outcomes and others with negative ones. Affiliative humour (which fosters connection) and self-enhancing humour (which maintains perspective during stress) are generally linked to better mental health. In contrast, aggressive humour (which targets others) and self-defeating humour (which involves putting oneself down) are associated with poorer wellbeing (Menéndez-Aller et al., 2020).

In practice, these distinctions are important. A joke that builds connection in one context may feel hurtful or dismissive in another. Similarly, self-directed humour may be a sign of resilience for one person and self-criticism for another.

In therapy, this requires careful attention. Humour should be attuned to the client’s experience, cultural background, and current emotional state. When used without sensitivity, humour can create misunderstandings or even rupture the therapeutic relationship.

This does not mean avoiding humour altogether, but rather using it thoughtfully and intentionally.

Using Humour Thoughtfully

Because humour can have such varied effects, it is most helpful when approached with awareness.

In therapeutic contexts, this involves considering the function of humour in the moment. Questions such as the following can be useful:

• What is this humour doing right now?
• Is it helping the client engage, or helping them avoid something difficult?
• Does it strengthen connection, or create distance?

Humour can also provide insight into a client’s coping style. For example, a client who frequently uses humour when discussing painful experiences may be demonstrating both resilience and avoidance. Recognising this allows the therapist to respond in a way that honours the coping strategy while gently exploring what lies beneath it.

Outside of therapy, similar awareness can be helpful. Noticing when we use humour—and how it affects us and others—can deepen our understanding of our own emotional patterns.

In this way, humour becomes something to reflect on, not just something that happens.

Humour, Culture, and Lived Experience

Humour is deeply shaped by culture, context, and lived experience. What is considered funny, appropriate, or supportive varies widely across individuals and communities.

For some people, particularly those who have experienced significant adversity, humour—sometimes in darker or more ironic forms—can be an important coping strategy. So-called “gallows humour” is often observed in high-stress environments and among individuals facing ongoing challenges. In these contexts, humour can provide a way to express difficult realities while maintaining a sense of control or distance.

However, humour is not universally interpreted in the same way. A comment intended as supportive in one cultural context may be perceived as inappropriate or insensitive in another. This is particularly important in diverse therapeutic settings, where assumptions about humour may not hold.

A culturally responsive approach to humour involves curiosity, openness, and a willingness to be guided by the client’s perspective. It recognises that humour is not just an individual preference, but part of a broader system of meaning.

Why This Matters

Humour is already part of how people cope. It shows up in everyday interactions, relationships, and therapeutic conversations. Yet, it is often overlooked as a meaningful process.

Taking humour seriously does not mean making therapy less serious or diminishing the importance of people’s experiences. Instead, it means recognising that humour is one of the ways people naturally engage with difficulty.

When understood in this way, humour becomes a valuable tool. It can help people approach challenging experiences, shift perspective, and feel more connected to others. It can also support flexibility, creativity, and resilience.

For practitioners, this invites a more intentional approach to humour—one that considers not just whether humour is used, but how and why it is used.

For the broader community, it offers reassurance that laughter in difficult times is not trivial. It is a meaningful and often helpful response.

Conclusion

Humour does not make problems disappear. It does not remove pain or resolve complexity. But it can change how we carry those experiences.

By softening emotional intensity, shifting perspective, and strengthening connection, humour offers a way of engaging with difficulty that is both accessible and deeply human.

Whether in therapy or everyday life, humour reminds us that even in the midst of challenge, moments of lightness are possible. And sometimes, those moments are exactly what help us move forward.

References

Cronin, K. (2023). The impact of humour on clients in psychotherapy. Irish Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 23(1), 17–25.

Cropley, A., & Cropley, D. (2014). Creativity and mental health in everyday life. Cambridge University Press.

Dionigi, A., et al. (2023). Understanding the association between humor and coping. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, Article 10936143.

Martin, R. A., & Lefcourt, H. M. (1983). Sense of humor as a moderator of the relation between stressors and moods. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45(6), 1313–1324.

Menéndez-Aller, Á., et al. (2020). Humor as a protective factor against anxiety and depression. International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology, 20(1), 38–45.

Samson, A. C., & Gross, J. J. (2014). Humorous coping and serious reappraisal. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 10(3), 571–594.

Sarink, F. S. M., et al. (2023). Humor interventions in psychotherapy and their effect on depression and anxiety: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders, 320, 301–312.

Simione, L., et al. (2023). Humor coping reduces the positive relationship between perceived stress and anxiety. Current Psychology, 42, 1–12.