It’s the dreaded four-word phrase? “Can we be friends?” It’s a classic break-up line, but it’s also an issue that must be faced when a relationship hits the rocks. In reality, the questions ought to be “should we be friends?” And, if so, “how will we define that relationship?” Below are some points to ponder when facing the partnership to frien... »
Accept your sadness and be kind to yourself. Do not put undue pressure on yourself. Take time off from work if necessary. During this mourning period, learn to accept that this person was put in your path for you both to learn and grow and remember the good things and value them. Buy books or attend workshops that support the idea of letting go and feeling good about yourself. Seek grief counselli... »
Every effort should be made to reconnect with and re-establish loving your partner, however, if the choice is to end the relationship, efforts should be made to end it amicably. Both individuals are then able to take the gained experiences and learn from them. There are ways of making the break up easier: »
Brett is a 36 year old man who works as an accountant for a small family business. The business is failing and Brett will probably have to begin the process of “winding it up” in the near future. His commitment to the business and his friends, the business owners, has intensified the level of stress he is feeling as a result of the business collapse. He has taken a week off work on sic... »
A divorce, separation or, in general, any loss of an important relationship is a painful experience. Such pain can seriously diminish our peace and happiness. We can, however, use this inner discomfort for our spiritual benefit. If we are thinking of separating, there are many lessons we need to examine before we can come to the conclusion that we must separate from someone. But if the other leave... »
“Our destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.” Henry Miller »
In conclusion, it is evidenced from the above discussion that CSA is a complex and perplexing phenomenon. Whilst definition and methodological issues present problems in the research and clinical arenas, most professionals in the field agree that CSA is a highly destructive and problematic experience for the majority of survivors. Lack of clarity surrounding a specific definition, and massive unde... »
For many couples, ‘making love’ involves a sense of intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship involves trust and being vulnerable with each other. Closeness during sex is also linked to other forms of intimacy. It is important to share a whole range of emotions with a partner, otherwise some people begin to feel lonely and isolated regardless of how good their s... »
Some research has found that around one-third of children may not show any negative effects of CSA straight away (Kendall-Tackett et al., 1993; Mannarino & Cohen, 1986). This does not necessarily mean, however, that these children are not affected by the abuse, or that they do not experience problems later on. Several interpretations of these “symptom-free” victims have been propos... »
To heal your relationship, there are several beliefs you need to have in order to move forward. Beliefs such as ‘I may be hurt again, but the risk is worth it’ or ‘it is not always easy to forgive and forget the past hurt and pain, and it may happen again, but if I don’t let go of the past I won’t be able to live the present or future to its fullest’ are amazing... »
Studies concerning gender differences amongst CSA girls and boys have reported somewhat mixed results. Some researchers have concluded that males react in more neutral, or even positive, ways to Child Sexual Abuse compared to girls (Bauserman & Rind, 1997). However many studies have found that children of both genders exhibit a range of negative effects resulting from CSA (Boney-McCoy & Fi... »
Research into the effects of CSA has produced varied and often conflicting results. While some investigators have stated that they found CSA victims to be only “slightly less well adjusted than controls” (Rind et al., 1998, p. 22), most researchers agree that the emotional, psychological, and social impact of CSA is often very serious and intense (Webster, 2001). Much of the scientific... »
Initial consideration of a definition of CSA may seem straight forward. For example, the anal rape of a three year old elicits highly emotive feelings, and most would not hesitate to label this as CSA. However, the problems with definition appear to lie more in the periphery. Details such as the age of the victim, the age of the perpetrator, the type of contact or non-contact, and the situation/en... »
Even if you have a desire to create a healing environment, you or the others in the environment may be unable to do so because of an inability to forgive and forget or an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility or to accept the consequences for one’s actions. An unwillingness to admit to personal mistakes, failures, faults, or errors can create misunderstandings, arguments and often ... »
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