For many couples, ‘making love’ involves a sense of intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship involves trust and being vulnerable with each other. Closeness during sex is also linked to other forms of intimacy. It is important to share a whole range of emotions with a partner, otherwise some people begin to feel lonely and isolated regardless of how good their s... »
Some research has found that around one-third of children may not show any negative effects of CSA straight away (Kendall-Tackett et al., 1993; Mannarino & Cohen, 1986). This does not necessarily mean, however, that these children are not affected by the abuse, or that they do not experience problems later on. Several interpretations of these “symptom-free” victims have been propos... »
To heal your relationship, there are several beliefs you need to have in order to move forward. Beliefs such as ‘I may be hurt again, but the risk is worth it’ or ‘it is not always easy to forgive and forget the past hurt and pain, and it may happen again, but if I don’t let go of the past I won’t be able to live the present or future to its fullest’ are amazing... »
Studies concerning gender differences amongst CSA girls and boys have reported somewhat mixed results. Some researchers have concluded that males react in more neutral, or even positive, ways to Child Sexual Abuse compared to girls (Bauserman & Rind, 1997). However many studies have found that children of both genders exhibit a range of negative effects resulting from CSA (Boney-McCoy & Fi... »
Research into the effects of CSA has produced varied and often conflicting results. While some investigators have stated that they found CSA victims to be only “slightly less well adjusted than controls” (Rind et al., 1998, p. 22), most researchers agree that the emotional, psychological, and social impact of CSA is often very serious and intense (Webster, 2001). Much of the scientific... »
Initial consideration of a definition of CSA may seem straight forward. For example, the anal rape of a three year old elicits highly emotive feelings, and most would not hesitate to label this as CSA. However, the problems with definition appear to lie more in the periphery. Details such as the age of the victim, the age of the perpetrator, the type of contact or non-contact, and the situation/en... »
Even if you have a desire to create a healing environment, you or the others in the environment may be unable to do so because of an inability to forgive and forget or an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility or to accept the consequences for one’s actions. An unwillingness to admit to personal mistakes, failures, faults, or errors can create misunderstandings, arguments and often ... »
Child sexual abuse (CSA) has received increasing recognition as an important social issue over the past couple of decades (Webster, 2001). While reports of CSA are certainly increasing, it is unclear as to whether this is due to an actual increase in occurrence, or merely a greater awareness in the community and reporting to the authorities. »
Chris came to counselling because he was experiencing increasing feelings of being stressed, overwhelmed and weighed down by his commitments in life. He has been particularly concerned about his negative thoughts and attitude at work and at home and would like to change this. Chris has been seeing a Professional Counsellor for three sessions and together they have been using an eclectic approach u... »
It is important to create a healing environment within the relationship even if there is anger, criticism or condemnation, as it is this very environment that may calm the atmosphere and allow clarity and purpose of vision to thrive. »
You have been counselling a family for 2 months and you have reached the end of your program with them. Both the mother and father are satisfied with the outcomes of the therapy, however their teenage son would like to continue to see you. He has specified that he would like to continue therapy about some of his own issues, but not in the presence of his mother and father. The son is aged 16. »
There are a variety of stages within a relationship, where in the initial stages the mixture of emotional excitement brought the couples together, six or sixteen years later the love that has evolved is very different. The various stages that transpire within a relationship are quite normal, and are necessary for growth and development. »
One of the most useful recent research findings is the work which has identified the early warning signs of deterioration of an intimate relationship. Based on these signs, researchers have been able to predict with a very high degree of accuracy (about 90%) which relationships are likely to end within a few years. This information is crucial in accepting when your relationship is in need of more ... »
In this series of posts, we’ll explore the elements involved in a relationship breakdown, from its early stages to post-break contact. Hopefully this will be useful to the many couples who are faced with relationship challenges and suffer the emotional consequences derived from it. »
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