You have been providing relationship counselling to a married couple for 4 months. The couple (Jeremy and Lucinda) have identified a number of issues, including a lack of trust, intimacy and communication. Jeremy had been involved in a brief affair, which he had confessed to his wife. It is largely this issue on which Jeremy and Lucinda have been focussing for the last 4 months. »
There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship or it could relate to something in your partner’s past. You may never truly know why it happened. Some believe that in order to reduce anxiety in relationships, we focus on a third party to whom we unconsciously pull into the situation. This is called “triangular rel... »
There are various losses associated with infidelity and various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some Do’s and Don’ts that you might like to consider: »
Whether the relationship ends or not, when infidelity occurs some serious losses are felt. Losses can be physical or symbolic and may include: »
What exactly defines infidelity? Most of us believe that infidelity is the act of intercourse occurring with an external person outside a relationship. Interestingly, feelings of hurt and betrayal can be equally intense on discovering that your partner has been having secret regular coffee dates with a work colleague. People Magazine asked readers to define an extra-marital affair, with this resul... »
You have a long-term client who is suffering from liver failure. Trevor is 45 years of age and was diagnosed with this condition approximately 3 years ago. His state of health is rapidly deteriorating and he has recently been hospitalised, awaiting a transplant. Trevor has a rare blood type and all attempts to acquire a compatible organ for him have been unsuccessful. The medical team is urging Tr... »
If you are not yet ready to do a lot of loving things for yourself that will make you feel better and help you inch back toward your pre-breakup level of self-esteem or better, you may be feeling self-destructive. That’s normal. This section is about passing some time safely. »
What happens for children when their parents separate? Children can react very differently to separation or divorce. The way they react depends on a number of things, but two important factors are the age of the child and the degree of conflict and animosity between the parents. There is no doubt this is a stressful period for children, but most recover and end up leading normal healthy lives. »
It’s the dreaded four-word phrase? “Can we be friends?” It’s a classic break-up line, but it’s also an issue that must be faced when a relationship hits the rocks. In reality, the questions ought to be “should we be friends?” And, if so, “how will we define that relationship?” Below are some points to ponder when facing the partnership to frien... »
You had been counselling your client Renee for approximately two years and in that time had developed a very strong counselling relationship. Renee was a highly motivated client who worked very hard to overcome the challenges in her life. Renee had missed a session during the week and you were quite concerned because this was out of character for her as she had always notified you in the past if s... »
Accept your sadness and be kind to yourself. Do not put undue pressure on yourself. Take time off from work if necessary. During this mourning period, learn to accept that this person was put in your path for you both to learn and grow and remember the good things and value them. Buy books or attend workshops that support the idea of letting go and feeling good about yourself. Seek grief counselli... »
Every effort should be made to reconnect with and re-establish loving your partner, however, if the choice is to end the relationship, efforts should be made to end it amicably. Both individuals are then able to take the gained experiences and learn from them. There are ways of making the break up easier: »
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