Relationships

The Making of a Flourishing Family

Have you ever wondered what makes some families capable of moving through very tough times without cracking under the strain? Are they just lucky somehow, or are they doing some things to get through in a happier, healthier way than typical families? What do you make of the family members’ responses to adversity in the following example? »

Understanding and Enhancing Interpersonal Communication

We’ve been doing it since the first humanoids appeared on the planet, so by now – hundreds of thousands of years into our existence – we have some basic notions about what governs our communication. We understand that our human interactions are purposeful, not random. We observe that we make choices, that there is usually room for another meaning from what we intend (so communication is ambiguous)... »

The Social Value of Being an Active Listener

Every year my siblings look forward to the visit my husband and I make to my country of origin. They are very glad to see me, but they can’t wait to see him. Why? When he is with each one, it is as if that person is the only human being on the planet. My husband gazes at the person with unwavering interest, drawing them out, checking that he has heard things correctly, and backing up the who... »

Getting Smart with Giving Feedback

“Your meals are disgusting!” she shouted. A look of deep hurt flashed across his face before anger kicked in. “You don’t need to be cooked for anyway,” he retorted. “Your bottom’s gone way beyond cute!” »

Reconnecting by Disconnecting

At a local café yesterday the sign said: “No free Wi-Fi. Talk to each other like before the internet.” What? And be there just for the coffee and conversation? We are more connected today than ever before (Facebook, for example, has more than 1.28 billion active users), but experts warn that we are also lonelier and more disconnected in our unplugged lives: hence the launch of Social S... »

What You Should Consider Before Ending a Relationship

Your phone rings. You grab it to answer but as the caller’s number flashes on the screen, you hesitate. It is someone you’re not sure you want to continue being friends with. Maybe the person has broken promises to you, cancelling get-togethers at the last minute, or perhaps – as entertaining as they can be – this person only seems to care about themselves. Or maybe you met... »

The Best Gifts for Your Mother

Whether you love it or hate it, most people will agree that the mother-child relationship is one of the most significant relationships in a person’s life, affecting your wellbeing throughout your life. »

A Healthy Heart is Both Physical and Emotional

We all know that we should exercise, eat sensibly, and generally take care of ourselves for good heart health. What might not be as clear is how good emotional health yields good health for the physical heart. With February being Heart Research month, it’s a great time to take a fresh look at how that happens. »

Counselling Dilemma: An Aggressive Partner

Kaya and Mark have been in a relationship for a little over a year now and are attending couples counselling. Halfway through the session, the therapist asks for more information about the fights they are having. Kaya reports that Mark recently pushed her into a wall, and that he sometimes viciously pulls things like her phone, the TV remote amongst others out of her hand. Mark admits to this, and... »

Counselling Dilemma: An “Emotionally Draining” Client

You have been working with a male client who has been experiencing anxiety and depression issues. He said that he came to see you after his wife asked him, because she said he was “suffocating” her when anxiety is a major feature in his life. »

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), also known as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), was developed chiefly by Dr Susan Johnson, who perceived the need for a better way of doing couples therapy than what was available in the mid-1980s as she was finishing her doctoral work. The importance of supporting distressed couples cannot be underscored enough. Johnson noted that recent surveys in Nor... »

Counselling Dilemma: Dual Relationship Boundaries

You have been working with a client for the last 3 months on rebuilding his life and re-integrating into society after having spent 6 years in prison for sex offences. For the last month, you have been working on issues of him frequently stealing money from his girlfriend’s wallet for drinks with his mates, him lying to her about his past and difficulties in holding down a job. Last weekend,... »

Social Support Development Skills

The saying that “no man is an island” seems not truer anywhere than in the realm of resilience. Happiness author and business coach Alvah Parker lists ten traits of resilient, happy people. In the very first one she notes that resilient people “are strong people who realize the importance of having a good social support system and are able to surround themselves with supportive f... »

Do You Know a Narcissist?

During the week of pre-wedding festivities and at the wedding itself, Clifford – the groom – was the life and soul of the party. He had agreed that the wedding could be held in the native country of his fiancé, Carlotta. His few family members and friends flew in for the week of gatherings. With a new ensemble each night, Clifford looked magnificent for all the events, and particularly... »

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