Gary Chapman (1995) in his benchmark book ‘The Five Languages of Love’, gives us a detailed look at how we may differ from our partner in the way we like to be shown that we are loved. Your love language probably differs from your spouse’s. Each of us speaks and understands one that makes it easy for us to feel loved. If you try to communicate using only your native language, it ... »
Intimacy is a journey – it is not a tangible thing. It takes place over time, is ever-changing and is not stagnant. In fact, any kind of stagnation in a relationship kills intimacy. Intimacy can also take many forms. One form of intimacy is cognitive or intellectual intimacy where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas and enjoy similarities and differences between their opinions. If they... »
Marcia, 29 years of age, came to you six weeks ago with issues of poor self-esteem and lack of self worth. She has been married for 8 years to Michael, however in session she speaks little about him and when the conversation turn towards him she quickly tries to change the subject or issue. Although you have noted this shift you have not challenged her regarding this relationship as you work on di... »
Communication is vital in any relationship. Understanding can be created and perhaps any hurt can be healed provided people can be kept in communication with each other. Therefore communication and problem solving are key areas to be considered when dealing with couples counselling. »
The following is an extract from an article published at the news.com.au website in November: “PHILANDERING husbands could soon be forced by the courts to keep paying for their mistresses after an affair ends. That is just one outcome set to arise from laws on broken de facto relationships that will take effect early next year, The Courier-Mail reports. »
The client, Helen, is 56 years old. She has been happily married for 32 years to Barry, who works for the local council. Helen and Barry’s first child, a boy, was stillborn. Helen fell pregnant again very quickly to help get over the loss. They now have two adult daughters, Vicky and Sharon. Vicky, the eldest daughter, is married with two children and lives interstate. Unfortunately, Helen d... »
You have been counselling a married couple for several weeks. The couple came to you because of problems they were having in their relationship. During the process you have seen the pair separately at which time you learnt that the husband is only staying with his wife because of their two children. The wife meanwhile has confided to you that her husband is not the biological father of one of the ... »
Love is a particular kind of need and expectation in a relationship. For many people approaching marriage, love will be the foundation of their entire future together. Committed and passionate love is an important predictor of a relationships success and satisfaction (Hecht et al., 1994). »
Separate to the issue of needs and wants, a counsellor may find that clients are expressing unrealistic notions about married life. Strong correlations have been found between certain unrealistic notions that are believed or maintained by married people and their levels of marital dissatisfaction (Tysoe, 1994). It is worth looking at some of these areas and being prepared for them when they arise.... »
In 1972 Carl Rogers surveyed the changing marriage scene of his day and said “It is becoming increasingly clear that a man-woman relationship will have permanence only to the degree to which it satisfies the emotional, psychological, intellectual and physical needs of the partners”. »
To achieve a ‘satisfactory outcome’ a counsellor will need to establish a goal with the clients at the outset of counselling, but the goals will generally fall into one of three categories: »
Relationships are necessarily complex. It will be helpful to a counsellor to align and govern their approach with a particular style. There are three usual styles of approach to pre-marital counselling: »
In Australia, over 40 per cent of all marriages end in divorce over a 30 year period, and marriage rates have dropped to the lowest rate they have been in one hundred years (ABS, 2007). Somewhere around one million people in Australia have experienced divorce. »
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