Allen (2001) explains that the essence of time management is completing decisions and determining action steps about the things that capture our psychological and physical space. To cope with everyday demands, Allen has suggested a processing sequence of work and tasks: »
Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and honestly, assert one’s rights whilst respecting the feelings and rights of another (Lloyd, 1998). Non-assertive individuals may be passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Passive clients appear to be unconcerned with their own rights and are more likely to allow others to infring... »
So far (read previous posts here) we have identified some specific reactions to your loss, secondary and prior losses and looked at various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some helpful tips that you might like to consider: »
Leisha is a 17 year old girl who has a young infant daughter Tippa aged 15 months. Her partner left the relationship before Leisha had the baby and hasn’t been seen or heard of since. Leisha lives at home with her parents. Initially Leisha was very scared about having a baby, and although she went to all the prenatal classes, she wondered what was going to happen with her life. »
Experience and the literature inform us that transitions or changes in life are inevitable and you can fight them, flee from them or preferably accept that you need to prepare for and adapt to the changes in some way. Having confidence in being able to plan for and adapt to change, by having skills and knowledge that you know will work, by building resilience so that you have the emotional strengt... »
It is a bit difficult to define ineffective options simply because it is easier to describe those situations where people have ineffective options to react to change. »
People often avoid change; opting for predictability and control, rather than the more stoic, flowing style of embracing life’s challenges. But life is a dynamic balance of negatives and positives, and focusing on the positive aspects of change can be the difference between growing under duress and thriving in any environment, or experiencing continuing stress and anxiety. Let’s explor... »
The body tends to respond in an innate flight or fight response when faced with an anger-provoking situation. That means that reactions within your body call you to ask yourself whether you should leave the situation (flight) or use your newly produced adrenalin and cortisones to get through (fight). »
“What we think affects the way we feel. Distorted thinking can increase the likelihood of negative emotions such as anger, while calming or challenging thoughts can reduce the impact of these feelings. Self-calming statements are thoughts that can be (1) prepared in advance to anticipate and cope with a situation or trigger; (2) used to cope with the situation or trigger when it arises; and ... »
Once appraisals of triggers have been identified, it can be beneficial for both counsellor and client to consider the appraisal and evaluate its validity. This can be achieved through a number of questioning techniques (as outlined below). »
To begin the management of anger, both counsellor and client require an understanding of the client’s expressive patterns. This can be achieved by encouraging clients to complete an Anger Episode Record. This is a record of each trigger, appraisal, experience, expressive pattern and outcome the client encounters during an established time period. »
Kassinove & Tafrate (2002) developed the anger episode model after conducting research that observed individuals responding to anger in real-life situations. The model has five main components, each interlinked with the next (click on the image below). »
The anger thermometer can be used in counselling as a mechanism for discussing various anger-provoking scenarios and establishing the label befitting the feeling evoked. Scenarios can range from yielding reactions that are mild to reactions that are intense. »
“Anger: Kassinove and Sukhodolsky (1995) defined anger as a felt emotional state. This private state varies in intensity and duration, as well as frequency, and is associated with cognitive distortions, verbal and motor behaviours, and patterns of physical arousal. Although anger may emerge spontaneously, another person is typically seen as the cause of anger. And it usually includes a perce... »
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