Personal Effectiveness

Why Bother Setting Goals?

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road can take you there.” (Lewis Carroll) »

Connecting with the Power of Purpose

Suppose someone asked you: “Why are you here? What is the purpose of your existence?” Would you be able to answer that in a meaningful way? Aligned to that question is: “What do you value? What has meaning for you?” In my psychotherapy work, the question of MPV – meaning, purpose, values – often comes up. Some people claim to be “drifting”: just bein... »

Four Study Strategies to Enhance Your Learning

“The one real object of education is to have a man in the condition of continually asking questions.” (Bishop Mandell Creighton, in Academic Tips, 2016) »

The Best-kept Secret to Motivation

With summer holidays long gone, are you finding it hard to get back into your routines? I once resisted starting a necessary task, only to have my co-worker say “Just get stuck in. You’ll be right.” I now realise how much wisdom was buried in her throwaway line. Volumes have been written about how to find and maintain motivation. An unmotivated person can do a number of widely-ag... »

Get Going with Goal-setting

How are you going on your New Year’s resolutions? If you are like an estimated 93 percent of the population, you have abandoned those fine aspirations generated so earnestly in December. Despair not, however; in this article we look at why you should revive your resolutions, turning them into goals. We identify the areas of life where that would be helpful and offer an exercise you can do to... »

The Social Value of Being an Active Listener

Every year my siblings look forward to the visit my husband and I make to my country of origin. They are very glad to see me, but they can’t wait to see him. Why? When he is with each one, it is as if that person is the only human being on the planet. My husband gazes at the person with unwavering interest, drawing them out, checking that he has heard things correctly, and backing up the who... »

How to Deal with Disappointment

You miss out on that plum position you wanted. You lose the court case. Your best mate announces a move to another state. Life is rife with disappointments. Many of them are out of our control, so if we want to be happy, the only option is to learn how to deal with them. »

A Guide to Overcoming the ‘Imposter Syndrome’

You hear the MC describing your achievements as you wait to speak. You feel sick, but it’s not just pre-performance jitters; you “know” that you do not deserve the praise you are receiving. “This is it,” you think. “Now they will find out that I am a fraud, that I don’t really know anything.” »

Getting Smart with Giving Feedback

“Your meals are disgusting!” she shouted. A look of deep hurt flashed across his face before anger kicked in. “You don’t need to be cooked for anyway,” he retorted. “Your bottom’s gone way beyond cute!” »

Reconnecting by Disconnecting

At a local café yesterday the sign said: “No free Wi-Fi. Talk to each other like before the internet.” What? And be there just for the coffee and conversation? We are more connected today than ever before (Facebook, for example, has more than 1.28 billion active users), but experts warn that we are also lonelier and more disconnected in our unplugged lives: hence the launch of Social S... »

How to Understand Anger

Familiar with this scenario? The idiot cuts in front of you, causing you to nearly crash into him. Your pounding heart, flushed face, tight chest, and gritted teeth tell you: you are angry. Or, maybe someone you know violates you in a despicable way, steals from you or betrays you. You are a “nice” person, so you don’t experience anger, but a dark cloud descends over your life. Y... »

How to Overcome Anxiety

The CEO of the fast-expanding organisation looked at me, despair seeping through a veneer of confidence. With three growing children, a loving husband, and work at the top of the corporate ladder, her life ticked all the boxes. “I’m coping OK,” she confided, “but I’ve been better.” “Better” was before she came to be afflicted with one of the most com... »

How to Gain Strength from Adversity

Most of us would have heard the saying, “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” While the optimist in us will hope this saying holds true, it now seems there is some more veracity to this claim. Since the 1990s, there has been huge interest in the question of whether, after a trauma, we must succumb to post-traumatic stress, or whether we are able to instead experience post-tra... »

Emotional Patterns and Procrastination

It’s 10:00 pm on December 24th, and you’re just beginning your Christmas shopping. You lost $1000 in extra taxes because you didn’t prepare or file your documents properly, on time. Your boss is upset because of all your missed deadlines, and your partner is truly “over” all your undone domestic work. If this resonates, you are one of the 20% who chronically procrasti... »

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