AIPC Institute InBrief
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bullet Intothediploma
bullet Intostudies
bullet Intocasestudy
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bullet Intoreview
bullet Intogrief
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Editor: Sandra Poletto

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Copyright: 2012 Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors

Welcome to Edition 112 of Institute Inbrief. In this edition, we explore the topic of loss and grief - including theories which explain that grief process experienced by most people, and the psychology behind unresolved or complicated grief.  
Also in this edition:
  • Case Study: A Case of Grief Using an Eclectic Approach
  • Theories of Grief and Loss
  • Review – Childhood Worries and Anxiety
  • Staff Profile – Gillian Lane
  • The Psychology of Unresolved Grief
  • Blog and Twitter updates
  • Upcoming seminar dates
  • Loads of resources, events and opportunities
Enjoy your reading!
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We have helped over 55,000 people from 27 countries pursue their dream of assisting others with a recognised Counselling qualification.
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  1. The flexibility to study where, when and how you want to. You can study Externally, In-Class, On-Line or any combination. And you can undertake your studies at a pace that suits you... 12 to 18 months or over 2, 3 even 4 years or more. You decide because you are in charge.
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Sydney: 1800 677 697
Melbourne: 1800 622 489
Perth: 1800 353 643
Brisbane: 1800 246 324
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Regional NSW: 1800 625 329
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Gold Coast: 1800 625 359
NT/Tasmania: 1800 353 643
Grief is a complex and individual process. There are a number of well documented stages to the grief process such as numbness, guilt, despair, panic and acceptance to name a few. The order in which these stages are experienced and the intensity and duration of each stage will be different for each individual.
It is therefore understandable that an eclectic counselling approach to grief can be beneficial in allowing for the flexibility needed to work with individuals through various stages of the grief process. The following case is a practical application of a variety of counselling approaches to one client and her experience of grief.
Click here to continue reading...
Theories of Loss and Grief
The loss of a loved one is a universal experience. Every person will experience loss and traumatic circumstances at some point in their lives. This experience has the potential to displace a person from their anticipated life course.
Several models and theories that have attempted to explain the complex process of loss and grief. In this article, we explore three of these models:
  1. Freud's Model of Bereavement
  2. Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle
  3. Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
1. Freud's Model of Bereavement
The emphasis in Freud’s ideas on grief is about personal attachment. The theory stresses that grieving individuals are searching for an attachment that has been lost. He describes mourning as detachment from the loved one. Freud defines mourning as a state of melancholia suggesting that when mourning goes wrong, melancholia escalates.
Melancholia is seen as a profound presentation of depression involving a complete loss of pleasure in all or almost everything. The process of mourning is viewed as a task to rebuild one’s inner world by experiencing the intense pain of loss that reawakens the loving affect of the lost loved one. The death of a loved one can result in individuals losing their sense of identity (Freke, 2004). It is suggested that in grieving, the bereaved is letting go of multiple attachments that are involved in the formation of a relationship.
When the loss is accepted, the ego is said to accommodate the loss enabling the bereaved to search for new attachments (Humphrey & Zimpfer, 1998; Susillo, 2005).
2. Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle
The grief cycle model is a useful perspective for understanding our own and other people's emotional reaction to personal trauma and change, irrespective of the cause. The model was originally developed to explain the experience of those dying from terminal illness. It is now also widely used to explain the process of grief more broadly.
From this model’s perspective, it is important to note that grief is not a linear process. Grief is considered to be fluid and as a result it is believed that most people do not progress through the stages of this model in an orderly manner (Baxter & Diehl, 1998).
Kubler-Ross 5 stages of Grief cycle:
  • Denial: Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. It is easy for people to become stuck at this stage when dealing with traumatic events.
  • Anger: Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Anger can also be expressed towards the deceased.
  • Bargaining: Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever ‘god’ the person believes in. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.
  • Depression: This stage is characterized by feelings of sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. This is an indication that the person has at least begun to accept the reality of the loss.
  • Acceptance: This stage symbolises emotional detachment and objectivity. The grieving individual is beginning to come to terms with their loss. The bereaved make an effort to move on with life.
Source: (Freeman, 2005)
3. Bowlby's Attachment Theory
Bowlby argues that attachments develop early in life and offer security and survival for the individual. It is when these affectional attachments are broken or lost, that individuals experience distress and emotional disturbance such as anxiety, crying and anger (Freeman, 2005).
These emotions are often expressed as mourning. Bowlby suggests that there are four general phases of mourning that include: numbing, yearning and searching, disorganization, reorganization.
Numbing is characterised by feelings of disbelief that the death has occurred, providing the grieving person with temporary relief from the pain associated with the loss. This usually lasts for a short period and is typically followed by emotional outbursts.
Yearning and searching involves the realisation of the loss when the numbness begins to fade away. Anger and frustration is common at this phase as the grieving individual is searching for someone to place the blame on.
The disorganization phase involves accepting the reality of the loss along with all the turmoil it brings. Evaluation of self without the deceased often occurs at this phase.
The reorganization phase takes effect once the bereaved comes to a realisation of a new life after the deceased. This phase is characterised by gradual changes as the bereaved attempts to move on with life (Freeman, 2005; Worden, 2005).     
Other models and theories of grief include Lindemann's grief work, Rando’s six "R" Model, the Multidimensional Model and Strobe's Dual Process Model. Though different in approach, each of these models of the grief process do share commonalities.
They all understand grief to involve a painful emotional adjustment which takes time and cannot be hurried along. This appears to be universally true, although each person's grief experience will be unique.
Also, rather than being in contradiction to each other each theory helps to present a piece of the larger puzzle in the grief process demonstrating collectively that grief is a complex process that holds both universal characteristics and unique variations.
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The Institute has a list of recommended textbooks and DVDs which can add great value to your learning journey - and the good news is that you can purchase them very easily. The AIPC bookstore will give YOU:
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This fortnight's feature is...
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Author: Wade, C. and Travis, Carol
ISBN: 0-13-192684-5
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The authors of this book advance their acclaimed, pioneering treatment of critical and creative thinking and their goal of getting students actively involved in the study of psychology. This book is praised by teachers and students for being thought-provoking, inclusive, candid and involving.
To order this book, simply contact your nearest Student Support Centre or the AIPC Head Office (1800 657 667).
Article: Childhood Worries and Anxiety
Published: Edition 93
Childhood worries and anxiety are a common challenge for many parents. Yet, children may be taught how to identify anxiety when it occurs and learn ways to cope appropriately. Strategies such as self-talk, visualisation, deep breathing and relaxation may help children who are prone to experiencing anxiety.
To work on these issues it is crucial that parents have developed a parent-child relationship based on solid communication and trust. Parents must be willing to take a step back from the situation and view their child’s behaviour in context.
What is unacceptable behaviour to a parent may seem logical and appropriate to a child. The key to helping a child manage their own behaviour is to teach them realistic, constructive alternatives to the behaviour habits they have already developed.
Click here to continue reading this article...
The Psychology of Unresolved/Complicated Grief
Anger and guilt can often be a key source of adjustment difficulties in the process of grief. Guilt can inhibit the grief process if mourners are unable to confront the guilt that arises when reflecting on their life with the person that died. Guilt may encourage the mourner to be anxious or afraid of their grief because it may surface negative feelings or acts they have directed to the bereaved.
It is also common for individuals going through grief to experience feelings of anger. Anger may be due to feelings of frustration and a sense of helplessness that may end up being directed at either the deceased or deflected onto others. If the anger is not directed at the deceased and it is not displaced onto someone else, the anger may be turned inward and manifest as depression (Worden, 2005).
The difficulties associated with unresolved grief have also been attributed to a previous insecure attachment to the deceased. Insecure attachments of any kind can encourage distorted perspectives on the meaning of the relationship thereby complicating grief as the mourner grieves from a distorted perspective of the deceased and the meaning they have given to the relationship.
Due to the insecure attachment, the mourner may be afraid to grieve in order to avoid the distorted perceptions of what has been lost and the accompanying feelings of intense helplessness, fear of loneliness and other related overwhelming feelings that can often surround the loss of an insecure attachment figure.
One overwhelming feeling often experienced with such cases is a deep sense of abandonment within those who have lost their insecure attachment figure. It is such feelings of abandonment that could have some individuals reluctant to grieve because the grieving reawakens the painful and very profound sense of being left all alone to fend for them selves in the world.
Multiple losses can also hinder the normal grieving process. Those who experience multiple losses over a short period of time may experience difficulty in grieving because the combined losses are too overwhelming to contemplate and deal with all at once.
People with severe ego impairments (e.g. personality disorders) are often unable to adequately complete the grief process. Such people may have difficulty successfully engaging normal grief processes and instead experience feelings of intense hopelessness, frustration, anxiety and depression resulting in complicated grief (Williamson & Shneidman, 1995; Freeman, 2005).
For example, individuals who suffer Borderline Personality Disorder may have difficulty in mastering the grieving tasks before them as they may not be able to fully understand and express their emotions accurately or appropriately. It is common for some individuals to deny themselves the opportunity to grieve because of their beliefs about what it means to grieve.
For example, some individuals may deny themselves the opportunity to experience the full extent of their grief because they may fear losing control or may perceive such intense emotional expression as “weak”. Others may not want to give up the pain of the loss because they believe it binds them closer to the deceased resulting in chronic grief. Those individuals with a history of depression are also at risk of developing complicated grief (Mitchell, 1999).
Such issues, and others, that may interfere with the normal grief process need to be addressed for the individual to successfully work through it.
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Staff Profile Gillian Lane
Position: Senior Education Adviser
Location: Head Office
Gillian recently took up the role of Senior Education Advisor for the AIPC. She completed a Bachelor of Social Science (Behavioural Science and Pastoral Counselling) before going on to complete a Bachelor of Education (Primary), a Graduate Certificate in Education (Educational Counselling), and more recently a Master of Education (Career Development).
Prior to her position with the Institute, Gillian has worked as a counsellor in a range of areas including domestic violence, crisis counselling, and educational counselling, and has worked for various not-for-profit organisations, employment services, and in school settings.
She has a passion for education and counselling, but student services are a specific area of interest for her. Personally, Gillian lives on Brisbane’s Northside with her wonderful partner Jonathan and enjoys home renovations, catching up with friends, and trying to maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle!
Have you visited Counselling Connection, the Institute’s Blog yet? We continually publish new and interesting posts including case studies, profiles, success stories and much more. Make sure you too get connected (and thank you for those who have already submitted comments and suggestions).
Challenges of Adolescence
While the definition of adolescent can differ from culture to culture, it is generally accepted that the time referred to as adolescence is the period between childhood and adulthood, a sort of "no man's land".
Geldard and Geldard (2006) explain that adolescence is a time in a young person's life where they move from dependency on their parents to independence, autonomy and maturity. The young person begins to move from the family group being their major social system, to the family taking a lesser role and being part of a peer group becomes a greater attraction that will eventually lead to the young person to standing alone as an adult.
Click here to continue reading this post...
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Generalised anxiety disorder is a common chronic anxiety disorder that affects twice as many women as men (Brawman-Mintzer, & Lydiard, 1997). As the name implies, it is characterised by worry that is excessive and unrealistic and lasts more than six months. Long-lasting anxiety is not focused solely on one specific object or situation, however in adults the anxiety may focus on issues such as health, money and career.
Click here to continue reading this post...
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"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
~ Kahlil Gibran
Many students of the Diploma of Counselling attend seminars to complete the practical requirements of their course. Seminars provide an ideal opportunity to network with other students and liaise with qualified counselling professionals in conjunction with completing compulsory coursework.
Below are some of the seminars available throughout the first semester of 2010. To register for a seminar, please contact your Student Support Centre. To access the full list of seminars for 2010, visit:
Diploma of Counselling (CDA) Timetable
The Counselling Process - 07/02, 25/04, 27/06
Communication Skills I - 07/03, 09/05
Communication Skills II - 18/04
Counselling Therapies I - 22 & 23/05
Counselling Therapies II - 12 & 13/06
The Counselling Process - 07/03, 19/06
Communication Skills I - 18/04
Communication Skills II - 15/05
The Counselling Process - 07/03, 12/06
Communication Skills I - 11/04
Communication Skills II - 09/05
Counselling Therapies I - 05 & 06/06
The Counselling Process - 08 & 27/03, 20/04, 10 & 31/05, 21/06
Communication Skills I - 27/02, 24/03, 17/04, 15/05, 28/06
Communication Skills II - 06/03, 19/04, 22/05, 29/06
Counselling Therapies I - 31/03 & 01/04, 03 & 04/06
Counselling Therapies II - 25 & 26/02, 29 & 30/04
Case Management - 18 & 19/03, 27 & 28/05
The Counselling Process - 13/03, 24/04, 22/05, 19/06
Communication Skills I - 20/03, 25/04, 23/05, 26/06
Communication Skills II - 21/03, 29/05, 27/06
Counselling Therapies I - 20 & 21/02, 17 & 18/04, 05 & 06/05
Counselling Therapies II - 27 & 28/02, 17 & 18/04, 01 & 02/05
Case Management - 06 & 07/03, 15 & 16/05
The Counselling Process - 13/03, 08/05
Communication Skills I- 27/03, 22/05
Communication Skills II - 28/03, 23/05
Counselling Therapies I - 01 & 02/05
Counselling Therapies II - 26 & 27/06
Case Management - 05 & 06/06
The Counselling Process - 06/03, 08/05, 27/06
Communication Skills I - 20/02, 17/04, 12/06
Communication Skills II - 21/02, 18/04, 13/06
Counselling Therapies I - 20 & 21/03, 15 & 16/05
Counselling Therapies II - 20 & 21/03, 15 & 16/05
Case Management - 01 & 02/05
The Counselling Process - 10/04
Communication Skills I - 22/05
Communication Skills II - 23/05
The Counselling Process - 17/04
Communication Skills I - 27/02, 22/05
Communication Skills II - 20/03, 26/06
Counselling Therapies I - 05 & 06/03
Counselling Therapies II - 14 & 15/05
Diploma of Professional Counselling (DPCD) Timetable
Communication Skills I - 10/04, 05/06
Communication Skills II- 06/03, 08/05
The Counselling Process - 20/02, 17/04, 19/06
Counselling Therapies I - 13 & 14/03
Counselling Therapies II - 15 & 16/05
Case Management - 27 & 28/02, 26 & 27/06
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 24/04, 29/05
Counselling Applications - 25/04
Communication Skills I - 06/03, 05/06
Communication Skills II - 08/05
The Counselling Process - 27/03, 12/06
Counselling Therapies I - 10 & 11/04
Counselling Therapies II - 22 & 23/05
Case Management - 26 & 27/06
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 24/04
Counselling Applications - 17/04
Communication Skills I - 16/05
Communication Skills II - 14/03, 20/06
The Counselling Process - 18/04
Counselling Therapies I- 27 & 28/03
Counselling Therapies II- 12 & 13/06
Case Management- 20 & 21/02
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 25/04, 27/06
Counselling Applications - 11/05
Communication Skills I - 27/02, 24/03, 17/04, 15/05, 26/06
Communication Skills II - 06/03, 19/04, 22/05, 29/06
The Counselling Process - 08/03, 27/03, 20/04, 10 & 31/05, 21/06
Counselling Therapies I - 31/03 & 01/04, 03 & 04/06
Counselling Therapies II - 25 & 26/02, 29 & 30/04
Case Management - 18 & 19/03, 27 & 28/05
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 21/04
Counselling Applications - 17/05
Communication Skills I - 20/03, 25/04, 23/05, 26/06
Communication Skills II - 21/03, 29/05, 27/06
The Counselling Process - 13/03, 24/04, 22/05, 19/06
Counselling Therapies I - 20 & 21/02, 17 & 18/04, 05 & 06/06
Counselling Therapies II - 27 & 28/02, 17 & 18/04, 01 & 02/05
Case Management - 06 & 07/03, 15 & 16/05
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 30/06
Counselling Applications - 27/03, 20/06
Communication Skills I - 27/03, 22/05
Communication Skills II - 28/03, 23/05
The Counselling Process - 13/03, 08/05
Counselling Therapies I - 01 & 02/05
Counselling Therapies II - 27 & 28/02, 26 & 27/06
Case Management - 13 & 14/02, 05 & 06/06
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 14/03
Counselling Applications - 19/06
Communication Skills I - 20/02, 17/04, 12/06
Communication Skills II - 21/02, 18/04, 13/06
The Counselling Process - 06/03, 08/05, 27/06
Counselling Therapies I - 20 & 21/03, 15 & 16/05
Counselling Therapies II - 20 & 21/03, 15 & 16/05
Case Management - 01 & 02/05
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 09/05
Counselling Applications - 07/03, 26/06
Communication Skills I - 06/03, 22/05
Communication Skills II - 07/03, 23/05
The Counselling Process - 10/04
Counselling Therapies I - 17 & 18/04
Counselling Therapies II - 12 & 13/06
Communication Skills I - 27/02, 22/05
Communication Skills II - 20/03, 26/06
The Counselling Process - 17/04
Counselling Therapies I - 05 & 06/03
Counselling Therapies II - 14 & 15/05
Advanced Counselling Techniques - 24/04
*Advertising of the dates above does not guarantee availability of places in the seminar. Please check availability with the respective Student Support Centre.
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