Relationship Counselling

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), also known as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), was developed chiefly by Dr Susan Johnson, who perceived the need for a better way of doing couples therapy than what was available in the mid-1980s as she was finishing her doctoral work. The importance of supporting distressed couples cannot be underscored enough. Johnson noted that recent surveys in Nor... »

Challenges of Same-Sex Couple Families

Nowhere is a discussion of dynamics in the changing family more pertinent than with lesbian and gay couples, and of the four functions that a family is meant to carry out for its members, the question of family formation is primary. Although gays and lesbians are not permitted to marry in most locations around the world, they do come together in civil unions, and many post-divorce families consist... »

Behaviour and Solution Focused Couple Therapy

The practice of couple therapy has been encouraged to incorporate a more scientific model of practice and the use of research to inform the style of therapy most appropriate to use (Whiting & Crane, 2003). As a result, the discipline of couple and family counselling is moving to an evidence based focus. A number of theoretical frameworks have attempted to conceptualise dyadic relationships. So... »

How to Use Negotiation Skills to Save Your Relationship

In the last article you witnessed how easy it can be to find yourself in a relationship with someone who is practically a stranger. But you also saw how it was possible to take steps to get to know your self and your partner so as to determine whether or not you both wanted the same things from your relationship. John and Sue-Anne had taken this journey of discovery and realised that even though t... »

7 Common Relationship Challenges

Like most interpersonal relationships, most romantic couples experience some challenge at some point in their relationship. Some of these common challenges may include infidelity, loss of intimacy, communication difficulties, coping with stress challenges, financial pressures, boundary violations, difficulty balancing individual and couple expectations, divorce, separation and breaking up. Whateve... »

How to Save Your Marriage by Creating a Relationship

Consider this situation: John and Sue-Anne are both in their late twenties and have been married for 19 months. As a young couple they have had a lot of fun with their friends spending weekends surfing and most evenings at each other’s places. Just recently their life has entered a transition as their best friends have become parents and are no longer free to share activities with them. And at the... »

Maintaining Trust in Your Relationship

Although there are exceptions most couples would agree that for a relationship to thrive and bring out the best in both partners trust is an essential prerequisite. In the previous two articles on trust we have discussed some strategies that if implemented in the early days of your relationship can help create a respectful and trusting environment that will nurture and support your relationship th... »

Building Trust in Your Relationship, Part 2

After having overviewed basic steps that can be taken to provide a foundation of trust in your relationship (Part 1), you will now explore a number of common reasons that trust is broken. Some of these may not be new to you. I like to believe that the trust established at the start of most relationships can go the distance and survive the natural life of a marriage. And of course this is the case ... »

Building Trust in Your Relationship, Part 1

Simply said: A relationship in which Trust is missing is not a fun relationship. Without trust in your marriage you live a life of ill ease and cannot feel safe sharing your emotional, physical and spiritual self with your partner. In most relationships trust is not a concern at the beginning when you make your commitment to your partner. Love overrides all doubts and blind spots you may have, and... »

How to Manage Anger in Your Relationship

Anger is an emotion that although not classified as either good or bad can damage a relationship if it is not understood or dealt with in an appropriate manner. It is only human to get angry now and then at issues that are important to us. »

Solution-Focused Communication Skills Training

Communication is the primary activity from which to build a healthy, enjoyable, and fulfilling intimate relationship. Most problems in relationships either develop from or are maintained through either a lack of communication or poor communication. »

How to Communicate Assertively in Your Relationship

Couples when they get married usually believe that they are on an equal footing and that marriage or their decision to live together gives them the permission to express their feelings and wants with an expectation that they will be respected, to state their views and opinions with an understanding that they will be listened to, and to say “no” openly without feeling guilty. »

A Step by Step Guide to Problem Solving

No matter how much you love each other, how effective your communication and how committed you are to each other, relationships are mercurial and still may experience problems. Sometimes the problem is a one off event that is quickly resolved to the satisfaction of all involved. »

How Collaborative Parenting Can Save Your Relationship

Over the last fifty years the fabric of our society has been stretched, twisted and patched to the extent that not much remains of the organisational structure that defined the relationships of our parents and grandparents. When it comes to relationships- anything goes! »

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