Archives October 2010 - Explore Our Extensive Counselling Article Library

How to Use Negotiation Skills to Save Your Relationship

In the last article you witnessed how easy it can be to find yourself in a relationship with someone who is practically a stranger. But you also saw how it was possible to take steps to get to know your self and your partner so as to determine whether or not you both wanted the same things from your relationship. John and Sue-Anne had taken this journey of discovery and realised that even though t... »

Counselling Dilemma: Issues with a Separated Couple

You are co-facilitating a mediation session for Patricia and Jonathan White (a separated couple in their early 40s, with two children). In your first session, Patricia expresses clear opinions regarding residency arrangements for the children. Patricia is also steadfast in her beliefs about the fair division of assets and cash. Jonathan is equally sure in his beliefs and expresses these loudly and... »

Self Determination Theory of Motivation

Theories of motivation may be viewed as being on a continuum ranging from deterministic to mechanistic to organismic to cognitive. The deterministic to mechanistic theories view humans as being passively driven by psychological needs or drives. Organismic theories acknowledge innate needs but also take into account the dialectics that occurs between the organism and their environment. »

Principles of Mediation

Mediation is fast becoming a commonly accepted alternative form of dispute resolution. For most of us, we have probably heard of mediation as a tool for separating and divorcing couples to settle disputes before going to court or a process used in formal and informal industrial and workplace disputes, but there are elements of mediation that are significant to relationships in all areas of life an... »

The Aftermath of a Critical Incident

When we experience a threatening event, our bodies automatically respond in a way that allows us to protect ourselves or escape from the situation. This fight or flight involves an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and breathing rate. All these changes help us to physically deal with danger or leave the situation very quickly if necessary. During a critical or traumatic incid... »

7 Common Relationship Challenges

Like most interpersonal relationships, most romantic couples experience some challenge at some point in their relationship. Some of these common challenges may include infidelity, loss of intimacy, communication difficulties, coping with stress challenges, financial pressures, boundary violations, difficulty balancing individual and couple expectations, divorce, separation and breaking up. Whateve... »

Techniques in Grief Counselling

Below are examples of some useful techniques in grief counselling that stem from a range of different theoretical frames. »

How to Save Your Marriage by Creating a Relationship

Consider this situation: John and Sue-Anne are both in their late twenties and have been married for 19 months. As a young couple they have had a lot of fun with their friends spending weekends surfing and most evenings at each other’s places. Just recently their life has entered a transition as their best friends have become parents and are no longer free to share activities with them. And at the... »

Working with Loss and Grief in children

The death of a loved one is always difficult. For children, the death of a loved one can affect their sense of security. Like adults, children express loss by grieving and yet children may not demonstrate their grief openly as adults. Grief may affect their behaviour, the way in which they take in information, and their need for support. »